Monday, October 20, 2014

life so far

Ola chicas/chicos.

Have u been well? Ive been home for 4 weeks ish now. Life in Kuala Lumpur...reeks of consumerism. Either u spend money or u sit at home. I suppose the fact that you are surrounded by shopping malls left and right gives that away.

Dont get me wrong. I do appreciate the finer things in life. I love being well dressed or taken out to a nice dinner once in a while. But these arent things that give me that contented peaceful feeling. It is nothing like breathing the cool mountain air next to a beautiful gorge, or feasting your eyes on the desert stars.

I shared with people that id like to have a life where my job is a means of living/aiding others but never what defines me. So many of us "co exist" with our jobs,  I think it's madness. There are too many things unexplored, people not spoken to, lives not touched to confine myself to the hospital solely. My wise friend worried about me disappointing myself but id rather be disappointed than to have never aspired.

Friday, October 17, 2014

blowing candles.

Happy birthday, me.
For my birthday... I wish for a muse.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

so there you are

ive finally opened up regarding the matter. To my relief, she was calm. I was afraid it was going to be another tumultuous time like it was 2 years ago, different circumstances but oddly same 'trigger'.  I wasnt ready to lose her again even though I know, u dont lose your family. A part of me had anger as I was brought back to the 'trigger' costing what was very dear to me, and in the end acting exactly the way I predicted. I have intuitions about these things. At the same time, I feel a relief. I know she is worried but I know that life never stop or start at a person. And these many dominoes of events will lead to the bigger picture. I shall greet him then with "so there you are, where have you been all along? ".


Tuesday, September 23, 2014

life in KL

Hello. Some of you may know that I have made that decision to go back home. It is amazing how so many life decisions are already shaping themselves and so many more are to come. I have 2months of being jobless before I get into the system.2 months that I will appreciate and fill up to my heart's content. Already I have plans to eat healthily. Something that I wanna entice my mom into doing with me. I want her to be healthy and I want her to live to a ripe old age surrounded by her children and grandchildren like how she always imagined. Im in the process of revamping my room.ive been away for too long...the louse has lost all sense of me. N tbh soo many things need to be thrown away like this bag 15 year old shakira used to wear and has a little prehistoric compact powder in it ^.^ i wanna be better spiritually because there are many things ive yet to thank Him for and yet sooo many things i am wishing for. And the other thing is meeting someone. I suppose I will be meeting ppl but at present I am happy to be que sera sera about things. I just know...that I will know when the time comes. It feels great to be in charge of your life and times like this, i shall never let anyone think that he or she has the audacity or absurdity of claiming control over it.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

yin yang

In my 2 weeks of south american conquest, during the quiet tines between me hiking the Andean mountains to Machu Picchu and spending nights in the Amazonian rainforest, I noticed I only had The Hunger Games books downloaded on my Kindle.

Perhaps it is the lack of alternatives but I quite surprisingly enjoyed

it. I am happy that Katniss ended up with Peeta, not Gale. Ive long felt this about myself and about other people. I sometimes mentally assign people to elements: fire, wind, water. Me? I always thought of myself as fire. Ppl usually mistake me as airy, light, but I am passionate, rather strong-headed in something I love and believe in. Ive always thought that someday my partner in life will be water. Somebody simple and see - through in his intentions. Willful but gentle and steady. A bystander yet a supporter in his patience. There, always. The yin to my yang. Just like Peeta was in the books.

It feels wishful sometimes, almost fictional. Yet I am never the one to rush.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014


Not a day goes by. Since.
Im wasting.
The void behind the smile.

Thursday, June 26, 2014


Things I wanna do in korea:

1) eat street food: ddeokbokku, jajangmyun, bibimbap
2) go to a sauna
3) trout fishing
4) see sarang channnnn
5) Shop for cute korean stuff!